It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
