O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
