But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
