She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
