You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
