what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
