You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
