the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
