and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
