how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
