I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
