he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
