so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
