That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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