i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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