Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
