jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This girl is more easily done than said...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
