apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
