Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
