he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
