You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
