Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
