He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
