I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
