oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need water and some morals
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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