its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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