cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
