More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are the jesus of drinking
Come share oat with me in your robe
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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