no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
