So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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