hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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