i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
