All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
