Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
