So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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