he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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