I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sex in a hospital.. check
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
