its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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