but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
