some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
