she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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