its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
