I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
