Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
