why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
