I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
