PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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