everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
