you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
