Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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